quick sad shepard headcanon to make myself fucking depressed before looking back at charts about trans fats and micronutrients

no idea if anyone else has thought of this, probably have but

In the ‘Destroy’ ending, Shepard’s body’s recovered, they place them in intensive care for months. They were in a coma for a long while, and people were discouraged that they would not wake up. Finally, after almost a year with their eyes closed and they body having to be reconstructed once more, Shepard regains consciousness. 

And their remaining friends all get the news and go as fast as they can to the hospital, finally being able to have their Commander back and kicking, only for them to look around, confused and stare at them as they all gather in Shepard’s room, despite regulations.

Their LI comes up, strokes their forehead tentatively, standing back, or eagerly reaches for their hand and smiles widely for the first time in a long time.

Shepard just blinks and says in a raspy voice: “I’m sorry, but…who are all of you?”

There’s that deafening silence.

Shepard relearns how to walk, from months of the muscles atrophying, and slowly gains back most of the weight they had lost from being fed intravenously for so long. Their hair’s mostly grown back, but they haven’t regained that air of authority, and instead is replaced with an awkward shuffle, not knowing where to go or what to do. They’re lost and unsure of how to proceed.

They hang around another ward of the hospital, looking forlornly out of windows, watching the world around them being rebuilt. They can’t really recall what it looked like before. They get the odd sensation they’ve been out there, walked around, maybe even ran, and whenever they catch sight of a small air shuttle, they want to leap to their feet and catch it when it lands. They watch patients come and go.

But most of all, Shepard starts to make friends with all these strangers that keep coming by and checking up on them. They talk to these people, who keep reminding them of battles and choices and inside jokes and embarrassing moments. Shepard just soaks it all up like a sponge, but doesn’t quite feel the connection, more like a story was being told to them about someone else. They’re scrawny and small, with a small hunch in their back. There’s no way they took command of a battlefield or inspired such confidence into such robust and strong people. Even when they showed some clips on their omni-tools, the commercials, the snippets here and there from Allers’ Normandy footage, they didn’t really quite register it.

It was just some ghost that people kept projecting on them now.

That wasn’t them.

They were just here

Completely unaware of the entire life they’ve lead the past decade or so. It’s everyone else’s job to remember for them. All the heartache and hardships they’ve forgotten, it was now everyone else’s burden to remember. But they’ve only known Shepard from the past couple of years. There’s no Anderson around to recall the spunky recruit they once were in the old days, or any parents to call for their child and take them home and records were lost during the battle of Shepard’s past life. 

Liara’s time capsule wasn’t enough, just a simple log of all the missions and Shepard’s profile at its simplest. 

There was a whole life lost, replaced with the blank look of a person desperate for some purpose.

And that being said, I would almost think it’s come full circle from the beginning of Mass Effect 2. Shepard trailed away in the abyss of space, having to be completely reconstructed, cheating death, and thrust back into control of the ship and another suicide mission.

Now Shepard’s there, living another life, being another person, and even though they’re troubled and stressed to not remember these faces, they have something else to work for now. Making a life, rather than saving everyone else’s. 

And I don’t know, there’s so much more I’m thinking just writing this but…whatever.

Back to memorizing shit.

2 years ago | 07:03pm | 6 Notes
#mass effect #and then listening to jayme dee 'rules' is not helping #fucking shit #I #am not sorry #yes I am #why is everything emotional I'm supposed to be studying and then other people #feel like shit and then I feel like shit and then fucking shtijahsa goddamn
  1. silentevilx said: fjdfjkdla;fjadkl;s
  2. azalulu reblogged this from robynaddison and added:
    just let me die
  3. robynaddison reblogged this from ussevenprise and added:
    PERFECTION YOUR SAD HEADCANONS ARE MY LIFEBLOOD
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